Closets Are For Clothes
by Elphie Marky
Summary: Young Collins goes to therapy because his parents don't think he is open enough. Is confiding in Dr. Jefferson really the best thing for him? [won first at speedrent]


Disclaimer: I don't own Rent.

"Tom, we need to have a talk," Mrs. Collins said, placing a lid over whatever it was simmering in the pot. She turned from the stove to face her son.

"Yeah, Mom?" Collins sat down at the kitchen table. He was a good kid. He couldn't imagine what he could have done to make his mom sit him down.

"You're father and I have been talking and…"

"Where is Dad?" Collins cut her off.

"He's working a double shift," she replied. Mr. Collins was part of the New York Police Department, often being called in for overtime and double shifts. "That's not important, sweetie." She took the seat beside him. "As I was saying, you're father and I have been talking and we've noticed something about you. You don't seem to be… how do I word this… you don't seem to be acting like most teenagers. I remember when I was your age I had tons of boyfriends. Is there a girl maybe you have eyes for?" She smiled a little.

Collins reddened. He didn't really want to have this conversation with his mom. "Nah, I'm too fond of gi…" he stopped himself, "the girls at school."

"Oh," Mrs. Collins nodded, "I see."

"Is that what this is about?" he asked. "Because I have homework to do and…"

"No, sweetie," she interrupted. "We think you need to talk to a pyschiatrist."

"What!" Collins was outraged. Just because he didn't have a girlfriend? "Mom! Why? I'm a good kid. Just because I'm seventeen doesn't mean I'm an unruly teenager with no morals. I get good grades, I do my chores, I'm nice to everyone, and I've never gotten in trouble. Even though Roger and Maureen sometimes make irresponsible decisions, I try to avoid…"

"Thomas," her tone was stern, "we feel like you're hiding something. If you can't open up to us, we want you to at least have a place to vent your feelings."

"This is ridiculous," he cried before storming off to his room.

"So you have to go to a shrink because you don't have any deep, dark secrets?" Roger asked after Collins explained his situation.

"Pretty much," Collins shrugged. "Well, I mean… I haven't exactly been open about i everything /i with them." Collins gave him a shrug.

"Oh," he nodded. "Maybe you should tell them. I mean, what's the worse that could happen? They wouldn't kick you out or anything, would they?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I've never really asked their opinion on that one."

"Well, my door is always open," Roger informed with a smile.

"Thanks."

Roger's bedroom door opened and his mom stuck her head in. "Boys, it was asked that I inform you that… the diva will be making her arrival now."

Roger and Collins blinked. Maureen walked in the room, doing a spin as if she was a model on a runway. "Hello, boys," she replied with a smile.

"You are i so /i weird," Roger said.

"Hey Maureen," Collins said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh and Collins, dear," Mrs. Davis said, "you're mom called and said to be home by five for dinner."

"Okay thank you," he said politely.

"Guys, you have to make a fuss about me," Maureen whined from her throne on Roger's bed.

"Why?" Roger asked. "You do that every day and we still don't care that you're a 'diva'." He used finger quotes around diva.

"I need to practice for when I'm famous," she protested. "I need to know how to handle my obsessive fans and stalkers!"

Roger blinked. "Right."

"All hail the amazing Maureen," Collins droned sarcastically.

"Why are you in such a bad mood Mr. Sourpuss?" Maureen placed her hands on her hips. "It's not like you're a famous actress who went completely unrecognized in a room."

"I have to go," he muttered, Maureen's conceit and his pending situation putting him in a sour mood.

Collins sat in the back of his parents' beat up station wagon as his mother drove him into the city for his first therapy session. He was bummed out that he had to spend his Tuesday night spilling his guts to some guy he didn't know rather than hang out at Roger's house. He sighed heavily as his mother parked the car and motioned for him to get out. They entered the building and Mrs. Collins informed the receptionist that "Thomas B. Collins" has arrived.

"This way," she motioned. A reluctant Collins trotted after her, entering a medium-sized room with weird, abstract art covering the walls.

"Well, you must be Thomas B. Collins," a short black man with gray hair said from a desk.

He nodded. He could tell this would be a long two hours.

"Is there something we can shorten that too?" the doctor asked with a laugh.

Collins smiled, sitting in what looked to be the patient's chair. "Friends call me Collins," he replied.

"I tend to go by my last name as well," he said. "I'm Doctor Jefferson," he added.

"Nice to meet you," Collins murmured.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Jefferson asked. "I know it's hard to open up to psychiatrists – or shrinks as you probably call us – but I promise I won't pressure you. Today is just a get-to-know-you day. Is that okay?"

Collins nodded. "What do you want to know?"

The first session was actually pretty cool for Collins. It really was a get-to-know-you day. Collins told Dr. Jefferson his favorite color, food, song, band, book, television show… Dr. Jefferson made treated him like another human being, not like a source of income. Talking to him was easy, however, he still found Roger to be a better confidant. Regardless of the humanness, Roger was his friend. Dr. Jefferson was his… shrink.

The next session wasn't too bad either. They talked about school. Dr. Jefferson learned that Collins was a straight-A student with the ambition to teach at a college. Collins learned that Dr. Jefferson had almost failed out of high school and didn't really apply himself until he saw a shrink himself. That's where he found his place in the world.

Session number three was about Collins' friends. Collins chattered all about Roger and Maureen. He talked about Roger's dream to become a rockstar, his popularity, and his partying lifestyle. Rather the partying lifestyle he wanted to have when he went to college. Collins mentioned that Maureen was a drama queen who was headed for Hollywood. She had every lead in every play she auditioned for, and how it went to her head. He talked about some other people he talked to at school, but he really didn't hang out with anyone but Roger and Maureen.

Session number four was about his home life. Dr. Jefferson asked Collins how he got along with his mother.

"Good for the most part," he shrugged. "She really doesn't bother me. I do my chores, I get good grades, and I stay out of trouble. We have a good relationship.

"And your father?"

"He's not home a lot," Collins said. "He's a cop so he's always out. But I mean, we've never really seen eye-to-eye. He doesn't approve of my music. He gets on my back about my political opinion. I don't really talk about things with him. It's not worth the aggravation. I tend to avoid fights. I'm more of a pacifist I guess."

"I see."

Collins walked to Dr. Jefferson's office the next week. He didn't really mind going. He didn't really need a therapist, but it shut his mother up, and he liked when she was happy. And it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't going to judge you – or make fun of you (as Roger so often does). He entered the building, said hi to the receptionist, and entered Dr. Jefferson's office.

"Hi, Dr. Jefferson," Collins took a seat.

"Good evening, Collins," the aging man greeted. "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks," he smiled. "Yourself?"

"Wonderful," he said. "Do you know what we're going to discuss today?"

Collins shrugged. "Nope."

"I think it's time we discussed relationships."

"But we did," Collins was confused. "We talked about my friends and family…"

"No, no," he shook his head. "Do you have a girlfriend? A crush?"

Collins shook his head. "Nah, I don't need the aggravation," he muttered.

Dr. Jefferson laughed. "Any cute girls at school?"

He shrugged again. "I don't really pay attention. I guess Maureen is pretty," he added. "Roger talks about it all the time. I keep telling him to ask her out already."

"I see," he wrote something down on a paper attached to a clipboard. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," he replied.

"And no girl has yet to catch your eye?" he asked. "Picky?"

Collins sighed. He figured he'd have to discuss this eventually. "I'm not really into… girls."

"Well, you're at that age," he wrote something again, "I guess it'll be a few more months before you start noticing…"

"I never said I wasn't noticing anything," he winced. "I just don't pay attention to… the girls."

"Oh," he said, scribbling furiously now. "How long have you been," he cleared his throat, "attracted to guys?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't really keep track, I just kind of kept it to myself."

"Have you told anyone?" the doctor inquired.

"Just Roger and Maureen," he answered. "I don't know what people would think."

"Do you have trust issues?" he asked.

"Not really," Collins said. "I trust Roger and Maureen. I just don't think my parents would approve."

The doctor nodded. "It's not easy, I know."

Collins looked up, his eyes asking for an explanation.

"My daughter, Joanne," he began, pointing to a picture on his desk of a young girl with curly black hair and a big, pearly smile, "came out a few years ago. It was really hard for her to open up. Which is kind of funny if you think about it, seeing as I'm a shrink. It was also tough for my wife and me to accept. But if your parents love you as much as I love my daughter, they'll accept you for who you are."

Collins smiled. Now he knew how Dr. Jefferson felt, listening to Collins rant and rave about his life. He also felt relieved. He knew that Dr. Jefferson wasn't going to judge him. He knew where he was coming from, he could relate. "So you think I should tell my parents?"

The doctor nodded. "Closets are for clothes, not people. I think it was one of the best things my daughter could have done."

"Are you going to tell them?" Roger asked after Collins told him about his most recent session with Dr. Jefferson.

"I guess," he replied. "I mean, they're going to find out sooner or later, right?"

"Yeah I guess."

"So what did you say he said his daughter's name was?" Maureen, who had been listening to the conversation while putting make-up on, asked.

Roger rolled his eyes. Collins replied, "Joanne."

"That's a pretty name," she said.

"Thanks for the support, Mo," he replied sarcastically.

"Anytime, hun," he puckered her lips at the compact.

"Remember, you can come here if they kick you out," Roger reminded. "I don't think my mom would care. Actually, I don't really think she'd notice."

Collins laughed. "Thanks, Rog."

"Besides," Maureen cut in, "if they kick you out, we're graduating in two months so you'd be on your own anyway."

"Mom, Dad," Collins said over dinner the next night, "can we talk?"

"Isn't that what the shrink is for?" Mr. Collins grumbled, shoving green beans into his mouth.

Mrs. Collins shot her husband daggers before turning sweetly to her son. "Sure, sweetie. What's on your mind?"

"I already talked to Dr. Jefferson about this and…"

"Then do we really need to hear it again?" Mr. Collins rolled his eyes, anger in his voice.

Collins slammed his fork on the table. "Yes, I figured you'd want to know," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Steven!" Mrs. Collins warned. "Continue, Tom."

"Dr. Jefferson said I should… open up to you about something," he picked his words carefully. "I'm… gay." He winced and looked at the ground, scared to death to witness his parents' expressions.

"What?" Mr. Collins was paying very careful attention now. "What did you say?"

"I said I'm gay," he said, standing up.

Mrs. Collins was near tears, whispering to herself. "Tom, sweetie…" she walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. "It's okay…"

"No, it's not," Mr. Collins roughly pushed himself away from the table. "I will not have a queer for a son living under my roof."

"Steven…"

"Cathy, shut up," he said gruffly, grabbing Collins by the shirt collar. "You, my boy, better shape up or else…"

"Dad, you're hurting me," Collins choked, trying to wriggle out of his father's grasp.

"I don't care," he shook him a bit, making Collins whimper. "I will not allow this in my house. You think you're moving out in two months and…"

Collins threw himself, escaping from his father's strong grasp. "I'm leaving tonight," he yelled, scampering up to his room to toss a few clothes and belongings into a duffel bag before heading for Roger's house.

He stood on the doorstep of his best friend's house, tears staining his face when Roger opened the door. Roger didn't say anything; he just opened his door a little wider, letting his best friend inside.

The world is an ironic place, Collins found out years later when Maureen introduced the group to Joanne Jefferson. Collins shook off the notion that they were one in the same until the engagement party. He smiled to himself when he saw the familiar face of Dr. Jefferson.

"Hello, Doctor," Collins walked over to him.

"Oh, no one's called me that in years, not since I got my law degree," he turned around, to face the man who had approached him. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"It's Collins, Tom Collins," he replied.

"I haven't seen you in years," he gushed. "You never did return after… how did they take it?"

Collins shook his head. "Not well."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he replied, casting a glance towards the beautiful drag queen mingling with the guests, "it was one of the best things I've ever done too."

Fin


End file.
